Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
