six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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