3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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