Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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