We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
