I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
