True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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