He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So squirting runs in the family.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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