I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
