Me too!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
