I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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