and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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