i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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