i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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