Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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