Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
