If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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