i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
