two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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