A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can vaginas get frostbite?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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