So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
