I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
