...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
