Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
