So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
