Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im calling her cock vulture from now on
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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