Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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