Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
