Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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