Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
