This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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