Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I could fuck to npr.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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