ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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