I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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