you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
my being single is dangerous.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
