Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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