She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
