Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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