I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
