Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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