Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
as a side note pls kill me
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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