I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
