woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
