First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
