I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
