Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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