Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
