It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
