the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
