guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just want nice things and good sex
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
