shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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