i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Everyone says I win the strip club
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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