Porn is love you can see.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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