I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
