Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
